Sending out some love into the Universe…
Dear @ShannonLeto ~
I hope this gets to you, as I know you’re not online much (understandably) and are going through some very personal issues. But I thought I’d just send something out into the Universe anyway. This is the letter I wish I had given to you in NYC in 2011. But I chickened out and gave you the other one, which is still from the heart, it’s just…this one is truly to you, and only you.
So now that it’s been awhile for me to sit on this, I think it’s time I just send it. Thank you for taking the time…I feel stupid writing a letter on such a public forum, but this will have to do. What I want to say is…personal. But I wanted to share it with you. I can’t say these things to you in a meet & greet due to time, but also I’m not the kind of person who likes a lot of people to hear my business. In essence, I’m private and like to keep what I feel away from strangers who may misunderstand, or see me as vulnerable. But whatever…
Can we all just dial down the rage, pleeeease.
I realize we’re a very passionate family, we don’t feel things half-assed around here…but wow. You don’t have to agree with each other, but for fuck’s sake RESPECT each other’s feelings and opinions. A little empathy goes a long way.
This particular scene in Artifact reminded me of something. So, it’s now story time…
Download Love Lust Faith Dreams by Thirty Seconds To Mars…
"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." - John Milton
First off, happy 2014! Hope it started off on a high note for all of you. We’ve come a long way, and for some of us 2013 wasn’t so great of a year. But here we are. Fresh hopes, new dreams, and new chapters in our life waiting to unfold.
Remember my last few blogs? About Tulsa and this feeling of…completion. I finally have a chance to sit down and think about it a bit. Reflect. And this will be loooong…
Let me just say, that trip was awesome for me. I went and celebrated my birthday with some old friends, got to see Thirty Seconds To Mars again, and basically came away feeling closure. And renewal.
It’s fairly obvious that at times, anxiety overwhelms me. Until I remind myself to stay in the moment and just not sweat about things that have yet to be written. I think a part of me felt the typical drawing to close of the year. Endings, reflection, etc. And frankly, 2013 burned me out a bit. Not that is was all doom and gloom, it was just a lot of soul searching and quite a roller coaster ride of things going on in my life. For a long time, I wondered what the hell it was all for. I think I felt stuck in some repeating cycle that I couldn’t figure out how to break. Of course, the more I thought about it the more I’d grind my teeth and get frustrated because it felt totally outside of my control. It felt like every three steps forward I took, I wound up either falling on my face or taking two steps back to regroup. It left me flustered, confused, and doubting myself…doubting happiness.
Only the Echelon will understand the first one ;)
Jared Leto calls out a guy for not having enough fun. Dec 5, 2013 - Grand Prairie, TX
That’s the extent of videos I’ll share from my phone. I have some of “City Of Angels” and other songs, but I had my camera sideways b/c I wasn’t watching through it *lol* I was also side stage so my videos aren’t the best b/c I was dancing around and wasn’t planning on sharing anything.
However, I am currently uploading videos my friend took. The lightning wasn’t the best, and he’s not an Echelon or a videographer so you’ll have to excuse his choppy videos but I’ll post them here in a bit.
I was talking to some friends on Twitter tonight, and I honestly admitted Tulsa might be my last MARS show. Now, I don’t mean forever ever. But then again, maybe I do. I just don’t know.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not for a lack of love for this band. They’ve had my heart since 2005. I adore Thirty Seconds To Mars. Maybe it’s the crazies, the groupies, the drama…I dunno. I’m not about to let that overshadow the fact that I have been on an amazing journey with this band, and have met incredible people. MARS are probably the longest chapter(s) in the story of my life. I am eternally grateful…it just boggles my mind.
I honestly don’t remember following any band as long as I’ve followed MARS, even if I wouldn’t have called myself Echelon until maybe a few years ago. I still question it from time to time…do I really get it. I mean, it took awhile. It’s always changing, but it’s exciting. And here I am…
Thirty Seconds To Mars & “Grrl” Seven - Grand Prairie, TX - Dec 5, 2013
Thanks for the awesome m&g guys, and killer show! See you in Tulsa =)
Jared has a very natural charisma and magnetism about him. I never intentionally go into the photo saying “I’m going to latch onto Jared like a dolt” but it never fails! I’m just happy to see I don’t have my head in his armpit like I did in Tahoe. Or looking like I’m playing with Shannon’s chest like my MARS300 m&g photos (I wasn’t, I swear! *lol*)
I keep telling myself, next m&g I’m going to plant myself by Tomo and get a pic with that mofo. I’m a woman on a mission now…
Super sweet Shannon said he liked my pants and thought they were really cool. Tomo was his usual upbeat, silly self. I feel bad because usually I’m so shy, I never manage to say much or make eye-contact but Shannon seems to make it a mission to make people feel comfortable….and always gets me to smile or laugh.
When the q&a started, Jared asked us a lot of questions at first. I honestly turned to the girl next to me and joked, “So, I guess q&a meant Jared asks us questions?”
Anyway, I will never get tired of meeting these guys. Super cool, very down to earth. Even with the shit weather, they seemed in good spirits and took the time to do a q&a, signed our stuff (no pre-signed merch), and did the pics. I’d already given Reni my gifts for the guys earlier - which I never bring, but this time I had something special for each of them - so luckily I didn’t have to bring those into the m&g.
We were a small group, so it was nice and relaxed. And the handful of us that had side stage (inc me) got to go onstage for “Up In The Air” later that night.
I’m not much of a concert photographer, as I’m busy having fun…and my camera phone sucks. But I did manage to get some pics and videos I’ll try to sort through and upload later.